Coaches (life coach, executive coach, business coach, [insert] coach) come in all shapes and sizes. It is my heart's desire that you find one that's right for you at the stage that you're at now. I just hope that you avoid those that think they've got life all figured out and will give you the "five steps to success and happiness" - the ones you often see on social media.
So what can you expect when working with me?
You can expect a relationship with a thoughtful and compassionate person who deeply cares about you and will hold a safe and courageous space that calls forth your transformation. My hope is that you feel able to explore places that you haven't felt able to explore in the past.
You will be met by a consummate professional who has invested in developing skills and strengths in various areas of coaching, having studied from the best coaches and schools in the world (read more about that here), as well as from ancient faith traditions and the esoteric.
I won't give you my answers or advice. I may, at times, provide tactical tools and techniques if we decide together that they are needed.
We will aim to go deeper than the presenting symptoms of your "issues". We will, of course, apply dressings when you have a wound, and at the same time identify what things you keep bumping into, and what cognitive, behavioural, physical and emotional patterns keep having you bump into things.
We will coach you, not your "problems".
You may bring problems to talk about, and those problems will be solved, but the goal of coaching is your growth and your transformation. This means that our conversations will focus on you, your experience of situations, mindsets, beliefs, behavioural patterns, etc. This process of introspection and self-awareness is not an easy one and will require courage and commitment.
We will go beyond the rational and intellectual.
Our coaching will also not be limited to examining the rational mind, which has its limitations despite its great capacity. We won't just be problem-solving together and I won't just be your "thinking partner" or "sounding board".
We experience life at three levels: the mind (both conscious and unconscious), the body (including emotions), and the heart (soul, spirituality, purpose and meaning). Our coaching will honour all three levels, and help you live and lead from the integration of all three - a radical and lasting transformation. This doesn't mean we will leave behind our intellect - rather, we will supplement it with your whole being.
We will use our bodies to shift states, and unblock emotions and traumas. We will use breathwork and mindfulness practices. We will use metaphors, and explore and integrate different "parts" of you. We will use assessment tools to guide our explorations. We will use and develop your spirituality.
I am also not going to boost your confidence or false motivation...
Although your confidence and genuine motivation will increase by working with me. What I will do is work with you to help you become more aware of your internal processes, make the hard decisions, look at stuff you're not looking at and take ownership over your life.
I'm a scientist by training, and my coaching is neuroscience-informed. But I am also not constrained by it. I believe that there is a depth to life that religions and spiritual practices have tapped into over thousands of years. I will use metaphors and phrases like "inner leader" and "life purpose", in so far as that it helps you get to the best you. I will be supportive of you making a vision board if it helps you.
I truly care deeply about everyone I choose to work with. I am an excellent listener. I will intrude on the well-worn stories that keep you stuck. I will not let you play the victim. I will hold you bigger than that. I won't judge you, and I will be honest with you. When you fall into it, I will shake you out of a victim mindset. I get that life can get us down - I've been there and continue to fall into it myself. But I'm here to show you how powerful you are. Perhaps you can't see that for yourself now. I will see it for you, until we get you out of your funk.
I'm a compassionate and non-judgemental person but also direct and radically honest. I do this in service of something more - your ongoing transformation. I won't be "nice" but I will be kind.
But these are just my words. It is one thing to read about coaching.
"Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you." - Marianne Williamson